Emma Hamilton

musebysentence | 37.5. Free

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:54:36 GMT

LINK: Google is a good source for free, yet questionable advice...

musebysentence | 32.1. Unexpected

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:47:54 GMT

LINK: It's bad enough when it's a baby, but when it's a baby dear to your heart, I've realised that by then, all you can do is operate on adrenaline...

musebysentence | 15.2. Trauma

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 22:10:58 GMT

LINK: She wished she had some magic formula to be able to stop her best friend's pain, but she had enough experience in her job to know that something like this just had to keep hurting until strength could be found to begin to heal it.

musesandlyrics | 2.23. No Doubt lyrics

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 09:38:37 GMT

2.23. And it's so sad,
It's too bad
Maybe I can make you feel better
Oh maybe I'm supposed to make you feel better
Dark Blue - No Doubt

Co-written with touchkitndie
[Follows THIS]

It was true that not many of the guests actually knew what was going on once the alarm was raised that something had happened. All Emma had been focused on was finding Andrew, and he hadn't been easy to locate. She inadvertently spooked a few people, panicked as she tried to find where he was to get to Ali. After she found him and told him, it was like the world tipped upside down. One minute, everything had been wonderful and happy, with everyone having a brilliant time, and then next it all came crashing down. She had done like Andrew had requested and told Evie and Tab what was happening. At least, she told them Ali had gone to the bathroom and had pain and bleeding. Tab hadn't seemed to realise exactly what that might mean, not that Emma expected her to, but Evie being an expectant mother herself knew and paled at just the thought. Emma had to tell her Riley was going to the hospital with Andrew and Ali, and although she probably wanted her husband more than anything right that moment, she understood, and was probably glad Riley could be there for Ali.

The paramedics were just arriving, and Emma stood back, even though they were her colleagues. They rushed the gurney into the ladies room, and Emma swallowed, looking around in the crowd. She just needed Josh, and she kind of wished he was more like six foot eight all of a sudden so she could spot him. Luke was ordering his staff to get people out of the bar, and most people were doing as asked, although there were always some with a horrid morbid curiosity when an ambulance was on the scene. She finally spotted him up near the stage, looking about as bewildered and confused as everyone else. She pushed her way through the crowd and before she even got to him, she found herself bursting out crying as she threw herself at him.

Josh hadn't been close enough to any of the group to catch what had happened. All of a sudden there were paramedics rushing in, and Luke trying to disperse the crowd. He hadn't seen Emma since she disappeared into the bathroom, and when the paramedics went that way, he'd got a sick feeling in his gut. It couldn't have been her, right? She'd been fine. He grunted as Emma threw herself at him, the confused look remaining before he caught her familiar scent, and realised it was his girlfriend. Not that they'd really had that conversation, but he was pretty certain she was. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and pressed his lips to the top of his head. She was crying, and his heart broke at the sound. It hurt in ways he couldn't even begin to protest, but he knew it had to be related to how much he was coming to care for her.

"Em?" he asked hesitantly. "Are you... are you okay?"

Emma shook her head against his chest. "No," she sobbed, gripping hold of a handful of his sleeve. If he didn't like being a human-sized tissue, he was going to have to speak now or forever hold his peace. "Yes, I mean... no, yes... but not me. I'm okay, just not!" And she was going to have to manage to get her shit together so she didn't look like a complete idiot. "Not me, Ali and Andrew." With her eyes closed, she could still see Ali sitting there, begging with her to get Andrew. Emma wouldn't even know how it would be if it was her. She had never thought about family before, but what if making a family was her world and it was suddenly all in jeopardy?

Josh frowned, wetting his lips as he swallowed. He tried to wrap his mind around her words, attempting to translate what she meant. The paramedics hadn't been for her, or she wouldn't be here in his arms. But she was upset about something, so she must have seen--He felt his blood run cold as she mentioned Ali and Andrew. For some reason Lachlan being shot flashing into his mind, but he hadn't heard any shooting. He hadn't heard much of anything. Josh pushed his fingers into Emma's hair and tilted her head back so he could see her face. He dipped his head and kissed at the tears streaming down his cheek. He was so desperate just to try and stop her from hurting. "What happened?"

Emma went to tell him but the words all choked up in her throat when she thought about Andrew, and how excited he had been over the last couple of weeks at the thought of Ali having his baby. Sure, it hadn't been a storybook scenario and both had been shocked when they found out she was pregnant, but it was like they processed it and accepted that all wasn't as bad as it seemed. Andrew was excited Jamie was going to have a baby brother or sister that was part of him, too, like it was the small missing piece of the puzzle that made him finally feel like he was meant to be in Ali's life. He was made for the family life, and Emma always knew he would make someone an absolutely perfect husband one day. "She's losing the baby," she finally got out and put her hand over her mouth as if she had just spoken the most horrific lie. But like Andrew, she was a paramedic. She knew the signs. That much blood, the baby wouldn't survive.

Josh felt his eyebrows shoot up, and his mouth fall open. He couldn't help it. It was the last thing he'd expected to come out of her mouth. He hugged her close to his side as he turned away, guiding her towards another exit away from the rush of people trying to get out. One benefit of knowing both of Luke's clubs inside and out was that he knew the exits. They arrived outside, and Josh took in a lungful of air. He was desperate for a cigarette, but he wasn't going to light up right now. "Em..." He was struggling to think of what to say, not even beginning to know what words would make her feel better. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He wrapped both arms around her again, and held her.

"I know!" Emma said tearfully, trying desperately to wipe away the tears with the edge of her hand. She stayed in his embrace, feeling like if she shifted away from him, everything would fall apart that little bit more. "He's just... he's my best friend, and everything was finally going right for him. He's lost enough already and she was over three months. It's not just like bleeding and that's the end of it. A tiny baby is in there, with hands and feet. He's going to know that, too. She was okay, she was dancing with him and they were having a great time, but there was blood and... and... I know this is all hard to wrap your head around, and I'm really sorry. I just don't know what to do."

Josh rest his chin on the top of her head, and rubbed his hand against her back. "No, it's okay. You need to talk about it. I understand that. I can't even imagine... I mean, shit. It's a baby, and it was growing. This is going to hurt so much for both of them. But shit... how does that even happen? If she was okay, what changed?" Josh tucked some of hair behind her ear. "It's enough that you're feeling his pain. I think... I think it'll help."

Emma nodded, but now the tears had started, she wasn't sure how to stop them. "I know it seems stupid. I mean, we get called out to stuff like this all the time, every day. But when it's one of your own, and you can't do anything to help them, it makes you wonder how you can manage to even be so impartial at any other time. Now they have to go to the hospital and be told their baby has died. Or is dying." She shook her head slowly. "Sometimes there is just no explanation. Maybe she had an infection she didn't know about, or maybe she was under too much stress. Then, it hasn't been that long since she had a baby before, so maybe her body just couldn't cope. He's going to blame himself... she already is. All she was saying to him was that she was sorry, over and over again."

He cleared his throat quietly, and kissed her forehead. "I hate to say it, love, but if you didn't feel something right now, then I'd be seriously wondering about you. I know some people can switch it off when they have to, but he's your best friend. She's your best friend's girl. How can you not be upset by this? And it's okay, Em. It's okay to cry, and feel pain, and hurt, and confusion. I don't know much, but I do know that. If you don't let it out now you'll wind up imploding. And if you don't stop crying, I'll deal. I can get a raincoat, or something."

Emma looked up at him, sniffling and still trying to wipe her eyes. "You know, you're not half the bad boy you like to think you are," she told him with a small laugh, even if her heart was still aching to think about Ali and Andrew would face over the next few hours. She pressed her lips together and closed her eyes as more tears spilled over. "Had us all lulled into a false sense of security, she did. Nothing can prepare you for this. Even if she wasn't sure about the pregnancy, this is still a shock no parent should ever have to experience."

Josh smirked, and kissed her lips softly. "You tell anyone else that, and I'll have to come up with a suitable punishment. Can't exactly withold sex given the circumstances, but I'll think of something. As far as the rest of the world's concerned I'm a bad boy. You're just lucky enough to see my other layers." He gave her a smile, and brushed her hair back from her face before he brushed his thumb against her face to wipe the tears away. "No, it isn't. And it fucking sucks, and I wish I knew what to say to make you stop hurting. I just think everyone's going to be hurting for a little while. This is going to be a blow for Ali, Andrew, Luke, Leila... their whole family. I'm not going to pretend to know how any of 'em are gonna feel. And as selfish as it is, my priority is you. You're the only one I'll probably be able to struggle to look after. I promise not to duct tape you in nappies."

"I'll avoid any Shrek references," Emma promised, "even the good ones." She felt so tired, realising it was probably the shock of going from a successful party to seeing Ali like that. She leaned heavily against him, her head falling against his shoulder again. She still couldn't quite believe she had fallen so hard for a guy like Josh. She had always just gone along in life and dated the odd guy with a stick up his arse who had too many complexes either about his appearance or his family or his money. Josh wasn't like any of them, and she never wanted him to be, either. He was there to remind her that life didn't have to be all work and while he wasn't someone she would have anticipated falling for, she wouldn't change it for anything now. She rose up a little and gave him a wet kiss, her cheeks still damp from the tears. "I like watching you with RJ, and your family. You don't realise how wonderful you are."

Josh sniggered quietly. "I'll resist the urge to be like him completely, and not ruin the moment with a giant fart. I'll also manage not to eat slugs at dinner." He rubbed his hand against her shoulder, wondering how he'd been lucky enough to score Emma in the first place. He still wasn't sure, and for once he was happy to let it remain a mystery. All he knew was that he didn't actually want to let her go. "Probably best I don't. I still need my head to fit in the door. Do you... do you want kids?"

Emma managed another small laugh at his joke. "Right now? No," she admitted and pointed behind her at the bar. "That in there, I wouldn't have the strength to deal with if it was me. To get excited and anticipate something like expecting a baby with someone you love, and then it's just... gone?" She shook her head, the thought process not doing anything to help stop the tears. "But yeah, I guess I always assumed I would if I found the right guy, and had the wedding thing, and the starting a family thing. People... I believe everyone should have a family if they want one so badly."

He curled a lock of her hair around his finger and looked at her. He was still hurting to see her cry like this, but was grateful she could still laugh at his stupid jokes. "Do you think they'll try again?" Josh couldn't help asking another question. He was still trying to wrap his head around it. What if it happened to Evie and Riley? It had already happened to Tara and Lachlan, even if they had RJ. "RJ was supposed to have been a twin," he found himself saying. "Did you know that? Tara lost one of their babies... I don't know how anyone deals with it, either. Apparently that Aussie doctor's wife miscarried as well before they got Mia, RJ's fated girlfriend."

Emma looked up at him and shook her head. "No, I didn't know that. I... I wouldn't wish it on anyone. How could you not blame yourself for it? What can anyone possibly say right now to them to even ease some of the pain? There's nothing. But the hardest part? Their daughter. They can't just stop processing because she's going to need them. But that's easier said than done. Things like this just shouldn't happen to good people... to people who are wonderful parents. Their baby shouldn't die."

"I know, love," Josh murmured as he kissed her again. "Look, um... I know you probably won't want to make the trip back to Princeton if Andrew's here. Should we... You wanna get a room for the night? Or did you want to go to the hospital?" His eyebrows drew together. "Um, what hospital are they even going to be at?"

"Sinai," Emma said, almost running the route in her head. "She might need surgery. Riley was going, Luke and Tab will no doubt go, and Ali's friends. They won't need more than that hanging around. Times like this, it can be more unnerving than comforting if you think everyone is hanging around wanting to help when they can't. If there isn't chance of saving the baby, the grief will kick in pretty quick. I just... don't know how Andrew's going to cope. He is an awesome paramedic, but hospitals have memories for him. Maybe we can stay at a hotel near the hospital? If anything happens, we can be nearby then, but not invading their personal space?"

Josh nodded, and gave her a soft squeeze. "Yeah, absolutely. We can definitely do that. I'll text Riley to let him know. I don't know that everything will be fine, but it'll--we'll be close," he finished awkwardly.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 2,645

musebysentence | 13.9. Everybody hurts

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:48:08 GMT

LINK: It was different- devastating - when it was one of your own...

[Refers to THIS and THIS]

musesandlyrics | 2.13. Junior quote

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:23:59 GMT

2.13. "I've noticed that the side effects of pregnancy are greatly amplified."
Junior

Co-written with agentsullivan
[Follows all HERE, specifically THIS]

When Ali left James on the dance floor, there was a funny cramping in her gut. She really did think she maybe had just overdone it on the mini sausage rolls and was now headed for an uncomfortable bout of diarrhoea. She had her hand gripped on her stomach as she wove her way through the dancing crowd, keeping her head dipped low so no one tried to stop her to talk. She didn’t really want to deal with the ‘Can I take a raincheck? I’m about to shit my pants’ conversation.

When she reached the bathroom, though, the pain was worse and not easing. She had to stop at the hand dryers on the wall, grabbing hold of one as her whole lower stomach wracked with a painful, sharp cramp. It would be just her luck to get food poisoning at the party she worked so hard to make perfect. All she wanted was to make Andrew happy and maybe in the process thank him for all he had given her. Luckily no one else was in the bathroom when she got there, because she started to hike her dress as she felt her way over to the cubicles. She got pushed her knickers down and sat heavily on the toilet, a rough relieved breath leaving her in a rush as she dropped her face into her hands, elbows resting on her knees.

She braced herself for what she feared was coming, but her stomach just kept cramping, getting worse and worse with each wave. Moaning as tears filled her eyes, she was almost desperate to get the runs now to relieve the pain. Maybe throwing up would help? By now she had broken out into a heavy sweat and she leant forward taking her hands away from her face. If she was going to be sick, she didn’t want it to be all over her expensive dress. She also wasn’t going to risk moving in case this was a burning the candle at both ends situation. You never could be sure with food poisoning. Luke would just have to pay his cleaner extra to disinfect the cubicle floor. But as she leaned forward, that’s when she saw it. Blood in her underwear and streaked down over her thigh. The unexpected sight caused her to cry out in shock and look down in horror at her hand that also had blood on it from where she had pulled her pants down. She froze and just stared, terrified as another sob fell from her lips.

Emma had entered the bathroom just as the first cubicle door was swinging closed. Someone splashed a sticky blue drink all over her top and she came to make a hasty effort to try and wash some of it out before it stained. It was probably optimistic, but worth a shot. She hadn’t even gotten some paper towel damp before she heard the woman in the cubicle’s pained cry. Emma dropped the towels into the sink and whipped around, another sob following. “Are you okay in there?” she asked in concern, going over to the cubicle and resting her hand on the door. The lock hadn’t been flicked to occupied, but she didn’t want to push in. Maybe the woman just had a fight with her boyfriend or something and came to the bathroom for a bit of a cry. Emma had been in that boat. Women’s bathrooms could see through some tough times on the dating wagon.

Ali didn’t even register the voice through the shock. Something flicked inside her mind and she dragged almost a whole roll of toilet paper from the dispenser and tried to scrub the blood from her fingers. She was crying now, trying to process what was going on, and she sat back a little to look down into the toilet. More blood. “Oh my god,” she sobbed shakily, the panic starting to set in as tears spilt down her cheeks and she balled the soiled tissue in her hands, knuckles whitening from the grip. “No… please, no…”

The British accent. Emma had spent some time earlier in the night talking to Andrew’s fiancée, so she recognised it immediately. “Ali? Ali, it’s Emma.” It was offered as merely a warning before Emma pushed the door open to make sure Ali was okay. It should have probably felt strange, but Andrew was her best friend and if Ali was in some trouble, she wanted to help. She could never in a million years have expected the sight she was met with, and a gasp fell from her lips. She reflexively reached out to touch Ali’s shoulder, not able to think clearly in the first instance to know what to do. It couldn’t be. Surely, after everything, this couldn’t be happening?!

Ali looked up at Emma pleadingly, grabbing at the wrist of her other hand and squeezing it to probably a painful point. “Andrew,” she choked out in a barely audible whisper. “I need Andrew, please!”

Emma nodded helplessly, swallowing to wet her dry throat. She backed out of the cubicle, almost tripping over her own feet and turned to bolt back into the bar. She wanted to cry herself, but that wasn’t going to help anyone. All she had to do was find Andrew, but she suddenly the room felt like it had a million people in it…

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 898

musebysentence | 2.3. Work

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 10:44:10 GMT

LINK: It's her job, but child fatalities never get easier to attend to.

musebysentence | 1.8. Love

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:32:12 GMT

LINK: How do you know if it is?

muses_w_remotes | 13.9. Vicar of Dibley quote

Wed, 27 May 2009 07:54:18 GMT

13.9. “I am a great supporter of sex before marriage. Otherwise I wouldn't have had sex at all.”
| Vicar of Dibley

Co-written with touchkitndie
[Follows about a week after THIS]

Josh wasn't sure whether he should be amused, or beg forgiveness. He hadn't expected Emma to get drunk so quickly, but the paramedic was a teetotaller of the highest order. He knew it couldn't have been the lack of food since he'd taken her to one of the better restaurants in Princeton, but he wondered if maybe her mixing the wine from dinner with the beer, vodka, and whiskey at the bar had been a contributing factor.

He smirked as she tried to unbutton his shirt, and dutifully pushed her hands away even if he wanted to get naked with her. If he slept with her, for once he wanted them both to be able to remember it. He kissed her forehead, and pushed her back onto the bed so she could work on getting her knee-high boots off without her hands grabbing for him. It was cute how much of an affectionate drunk she was.

"As much as I wish it were otherwise, love, only one of us will be getting into this bed tonight. Just remember to tell me if you feel sick, okay? I'll find you a bucket, or pot plant, or something..."

Emma grinned up at him deviously and trailed the tip of her boot up his thigh towards his assets. Very nice assets if the bulge was anything to go by. She wrapped her hand around his wrist and tried to tug him down on the bed with her. "You know how hot you are?" she purred, using her other hand to pull him forward by his belt buckle. "I've been waiting all night for this. No holding out on me now." She was drunk. She was absolutely off her face drunk. She couldn't remember the last time she had drunk this much... actually, she could hardly remember her surname. She started to giggle. The whole thing probably felt way hotter in her brain. She had a vague recollection of a night like this with Andrew months ago. Maybe years ago. Before he was a non-drinker, anyway. But this time sex was so going to happen. She wanted Josh's ass, and she wanted it now.

Josh cleared his throat as he braced one hand on the bed and tried very valiantly to ignore the fact his bulge was becoming rock hard. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking fair for her to want him now while she was like this. "You don't know what you want," Josh murmured quietly as he looked down at her. "Five minutes ago you wanted toasted marshmallows and peanut butter. If I didn't know you were a good girl, I'd be asking you if you were pregnant." He leaned in to kiss her lips softly, tasting the alcohol on her breath. Not that it mattered, his probably tasted like beer and cigarettes. He was aware that he didn't always have minty fresh breath. "You're pretty fucking hot, even when you're sauced. Have you really been waiting all night? What happened to the three week rule?"

With him now in very easy grabbing vicinity, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down on top of her, giving him very little ability to actually move now she had him locked against her. She wrapped both her legs around him and arched her back, pushing up against him. "Fuck it," she growled hungrily and caught his lower lip between hers, biting down on it before kissing him heatedly. Her hips rocked up against his again and she made a messy attempt to try and get his belt undone, but her coordination was so off, it was a struggle. She pulled back a little, giggling mischievously. "I'm not wearing any pants," she revealed against his lips.

Josh groaned, silently cursing whatever stupid idiot brain cell of his decided taking her to a bar had been a good idea. He'd been hoping for dancing, but instead they'd sat and talked and gotten pissed. She was so warm, and firm, and fuck... right there. He was incredibly tempted to say 'fuck it' too, in fact his dick was definitely in favour of that plan as it seemed to give a twitch at the idea of being anywhere near Emma and her pantiless body. "Jesus, Em... not like this..." He clenched his jaw as he tried to wrestle out of her hold, but she had him pretty good. His hand gripped her thigh in an attempt to push her leg away but thrust forward with his hips instead to grind down again her. He instantly regretted it, even if his eyes rolled back into his skull and he let out a low growl. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, bollocking arse."

"Yes..." Emma moaned. The way he growled was exactly the response she was hoping for, now if only she could get him out of these damn pants. She tugged at them again, but they must be child proof or paramedic proof. She growled herself, but it was in frustration as the arousal pulsed through her. She tried to pull him closer with her legs, but she was losing momentum and maybe the room was starting to spin just a little bit...

She had to put her head back against the mattress when the dizziness just increased. She continued to try and battle with his pants, but didn't realise it was actually coming across like nothing but a clumsily grope at his crotch. Did he always have two heads? She was giggling again, but it definitely didn't have the bite it did a few moments ago.

Josh managed to get her hands away from his crotch and held them up over her head to try and keep her still. His eyes were dark as he tried to fight the desire pulsing through his body, that seemed to be pooling straight to his dick. If he didn't have blue balls from this, it would be a miracle. The way she was starting to wane in her determination was helping a bit, but even as he tried to get her legs from around him, the bulge in his pants was rubbing up against it. He would be lucky if he managed not to bruise her with his cock.

He brushed her hair back from her face and shifted so that he was lying next to her, more than over her. "You need to take it easy, love. Just close your eyes and take deep breaths. Better you survive the night without regrets, yeah?"

"No, no..." Emma whined, turning her head to the side in an attempt to shake it, but that was a huge mistake, and the whine turned into a whimper as she put a hand up to her head which was pounding way sooner than she ever wanted it to. But he could still fuck her! She made a weak grab for him, but her hand just curled around his arm. She pressed her lips together and for a moment even forgot where she was. Hang on, she was supposed to be riding him by now. Something was wrong with this picture.

Josh smiled as he watched her, and for a brief moment he suddenly understood everything that Lachlan, and Riley had been preaching about. Even Tara... He didn't really know Emma, but already this felt different. This thing with her was like nothing else he'd experienced. He felt an urge to protect her, even against a pounding head, and his thoughtless dick. He pressed a kiss to her temple as he held her, and just lay with her. "I don't want to be the guy you think I am, Em. I don't want you to give up on me. I'm also incredibly glad you probably won't remember me getting all mushy."

Emma looked up at him, her hair splayed messily under her head, and her blue eyes searched groggily over his face. "I..." she began, but that's as far as she got before pushing him away and managing to get to the side of the bed before she threw up spectacularly all over his floor. This was so not the finale she had been planning every since vodka shot number three.

Josh looked up at the ceiling with a sigh before he got up into a sitting position and held her hair back from her face as he waited to see if there was anymore vomit coming. "Better out than in, love. Trust me when I say that's one thing you don't want to be swallowing back down." He leaned forward to try and look into her eyes. "You gonna be okay if I leave you for a moment?"

There was maybe a slight moment of recognition in Emma that twigged how nice this was. Again, Andrew, her closest friend, had been the last one to help her when she was sick and he came around with chicken soup after she called in to work. This was different. This wasn't platonic friends. At least, she was pretty sure she didn't want it to be. Despite all the talk, Josh was... something she couldn't put her finger on. She groaned, managing a nod before squishing her face into the mattress. She felt sick and awful and she really didn't want him to go away, but it was okay if we went for a bit, right? She would have to analyse the fact she wanted him to stay when she was sober.

He rubbed his hand against her back and kissed her head as he managed not to step in her puddle of spew on his floor. He reluctantly left her alone to go and get her a bottle of water, and a chip bowl to throw up in. By the time he came back, Emma was out cold, and he set the water down on the bedside table near her before picking up a blanket and pulling it over her. He'd clean up the mess before he even contemplated trying to sleep himself. He'd even do the right thing and sleep fully clothed. He wasn't so determined to be a gentleman that he'd go and sleep on the sofa.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 1,687

musebyquotes | 2.10. Nathaniel LeTonnerre quote

Fri, 01 May 2009 12:42:41 GMT

2.10. "For some, pleasure is a fever they can't shake. For others, it's a disease they cannot seem to catch."
- Nathaniel LeTonnerre

Co-written with touchkitndie
[Simultaneous to THIS and THIS]

Josh scratched the back of his head as he surveyed the crowd at the reception. He was exhausted, and he hadn't even had to do anything. Other than chase one rogue groom and try and talk him into marriage. He cleared his throat as he sipped his beer and tried to work out if there were any single ladies here. One hundred guests and he was pretty sure they were either couples, or gay.

A lone brunette caught his attention and he smirked to himself as he sauntered up to her. She was definitely gorgeous. Had killer blue eyes that had him thinking all sorts of things. There was something familiar about them, but he couldn't quite place it. "Buy you a free drink?"

Emma had been trying to blend into the wall behind her. The only people she knew here were Andrew and sort of Evie. She felt out of place and like she didn't belong. True enough, however, everyone was amazingly friendly and chatty. She had met quite a few of Evie's friends, and found them to be a great group of people. It was also really nice to see Andrew relaxing with his girlfriend, even if they were both clearly worried about their baby girl and her untimely bout of chicken pox. Emma knew they would both probably make a polite, but early exit soon enough and then Emma would be down to one person she knew... and even then, she wasn't sure she could classify what she had with Evie as 'knowing' her yet.

She had to double take a little at the voice. She wasn't exactly expecting anyone to speak to her here. She had actually been wondering if she could make a polite and early exit herself. She blinked at his question and then shot him a smirk. "How chivalrous of you," she commented and held up her drink, which was still two thirds full.

"Chivalry being dead is just a rumour. Whoever started it hadn't met me yet." Josh struggled for a moment to think of something else to say. All this wedding stress had just about killed hismojo , and she really didn't look like the kind of girl that would respond to 'fancy a quick shag?'. "So you here for the bride, bride, groom, or groom?"

Emma looked over at the couples and sipped her drink. "Bride and Best Man, opposite sides of the fence. Andrew's my closest friend, Evie's my sister," she told him, trying not to balk when she said that. It still felt weird to say it. Really weird, but in a good way. She glanced at him again, trying to figure out why he had approached her. "What about you? Brit accent, could be the groom, could be other Best Man, could beAiden's husband," she deduced.

"Do I look gay?" Josh asked, looking down at his shirt and pants. It was the tidiest he had looked in a while. He was still worried about Tara trying to spit polish him. Then the cogs in his brain started to kick in and he stared at her. "Evie's sister? Riley's Evie? As in the now Mrs Browne's sister? Fuck me. No wonder you're gorgeous. Must run in the family. I'm Riley's mate. I am in no way a Best Man. Riley's wasLachlan, our resident Evil Scotsman."

Emma looked at him, smirking in amusement. "No. I didn't realise gay was catching," she commented. "All the time I've spent withAiden's other half tonight, I could walk away gay." She nodded. "Evie's sister, only we've only just found out the relationship. I can't take any credit for how gorgeous she is. You don't think you're Best Man material, huh?"

"It's not, it's just you said I could be Aiden's husband. There's no mistaking Pat for, well, Pat. Just checking to see if I looked like Pat. If you've spent time with him, then you should know I'm not him. And since you've only known Evie a short while, I'll excuse the fact you don't me. I'm Josh King. Knew Riley from his days in Edinburgh. WasLachlan's drummer in his band." He offered her his hand, and his best knee-weakening smile. "You can take credit for how gorgeous you are though, love. And no, not really. I'm bachelor party material, but not speeches and tuxes."

Emma laughed and waved her hand. "No, no. I didn't say you could be Aiden's husband. I said you could be linked to Aiden's husband, being English. I was trying to figure out which side of the fence you were supposed to be lingering. I'm pretty sure Pat's husband is one of a kind... in an identical twin type capacity," she told him, still watching him in amusement. "A drummer, huh? Very impressive, Josh King. I have heard about the musical talents in this group. I'll have to see you all play one day. And yes, I heard all about that bachelor party and the groom's little...souvenir."

"Oh yeah, me and Patto go way back. Sorry, blame the lack of sex. I need an orgasm to get my brain working." Josh winced as the words left his mouth and cleared his throat as he looked away. "Fuck, sorry. There are times I need to keep my mouth shut. Even I know that. You still haven't given me your name, love. Planning on keeping it a secret? Hopefully you'll see us play. Campbell's recording an album with Riley's sister... apparently I'm supposed to volunteer myself for drumming duties. Actually haven't had the conversation with him yet. You'll definitely see them play. Plus Luke's got a bar that'll be opening soon here. I'm going to be manager," he added with a grin. "Hey, it got him royally laid. He actually thanked me for it this morning."

Emma raised her eyebrow. "That sounds like an unfortunate condition you have there. How did you ever survive before hitting puberty?" she asked, enjoying teasing him. She couldn't help but wonder if he was working his way up to hitting on her. She made a mental note to ask Evie about this Josh King. "I'm Emma. Planning on screaming it out later?" she threw back, not missing a beat.

She took another drink and licked her lips. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around everyone linked here. I only know two people. It's a little odd. Nice bunch, though. I live in Princeton, so no doubt I'll check the bar out at some point. What got you moving from drummer to bar manager?" She laughed, shaking her head. "What was your role? Holding him down while it got pierced?"

Josh coughed as she mentioned the screaming, nearly choking on his beer. "Never was much of a screamer, but I might just groan it against your skin if you let me." He liked the fact she teased him back, even liked that she seemed to catch him off guard. The girls that just seemed to become putty in his hands were usually far too agreeable and weak. "Pleasure to meet you, Emma."

"Links can be hard to work out. I know I'm still trying to work out the New York contingent. They're not really my people. I'm mostly linked the the Princeton folks." Josh shrugged. "Not many decent bands left to play with on the pub circuit in Edinburgh. Well, the ones that are already have drummers.Lachlan mentioned Luke and the bar, and I figured why not? Something different. Plus I'm back with boys. My role was more like supplying the alcohol to make sure he stayed plastered. I'm acharitible friend."

Emma's eyes were shining as she watched him over the top of her glass. "That's awfully deep confidence in my talents, Mr King."

She gestured with her glass to Andrew across the room. "That's Andrew, or Andy. He's my closest pal and my ex-boss. He's Luke's cousin, which is where the Princeton and New York contingent starts to link. The girl with him is Ali. They're dating and live together, she has a baby girl, but Andrew's not the father. Aiden is Luke's marketer and his friend. I know Luke and Aiden through Andy. As far I can gather, Aiden met Pat at Luke's bar one night when he was there for a Princeton-ite party of some sort. That's where my brain stops working. I don't really know any of the Princeton chapter." She laughed. "I can only imagine how the bachelor party scene went down. Evie said Riley was practically comatose after the whole showing her appreciation of his newest accessory thing. Why do I get the feeling you lot are far from innocent when you're together?"

"Or just knowledge in my own ability, and the fact I like watching a girl react to them," Josh smirked, but he raised his bottle to her and winked. "Having said that, I have complete faith in yourabilties, Miss Emma."

He nodded, even though his eyes never really left her face. He already knew what the other guys looked like, so it was just listening to how they linked up. "Pat'sLachlan's best friend. Grew up in Scotland together. Same with Cameron for obvious reasons. The big football star avoiding his brother. Riley came to Scotland for some fancy medical placement thing, and we all corrupted him.Lachlan and Tara first clapped eyes on each other after some bar outing after he moved here. Evie is Tara's best friend. Riley and Evie are also both the godparents to the mini-Kilted One. Ah... Tara andLachlan work with the blond Aussie doctor. Aiden's best friend is a patient of Riley's. She's pregnant, apparently. Doesn't really look the sort." Josh couldn't help but laugh loudly at her deduction. "What can I say?"

Emma huffed out a laugh. "Maybe I'm a lesbian?" she suggested with a smirk. "How would your 'abilities' fair then, Rhythm King?"

"It makes my head spin. The Mini Kilt, though, I have to admit that little guy won my heart from the get-go. I hope you lot aren't going to corrupt him. Although, the way he was laughing at the woman with the purple feather hat a little while back, I have a feeling his infant brain is already cottoning on to the corruption. It's all one big family. It's nice. I grew up with just my Mum and grandparents around me. Then I moved to New York and was too busy working to actually have a life. I probably need to learn to live a little," she decided, watching the Scot sweep his wife onto thedancefloor while Mini Kilt was happily offloaded to Pat and Aiden. She looked from Josh to Lachlan and then back again with a nod. She sought Tab out and nodded again. "I can see you three performing together. Evie told me Tab was a musician, I can clearly seeLachlan feels the music just from the way he's moving there, and you... if you've played your way around Edinburgh, you must have quite the talent."

"Lesbians still dance, right?" Josh asked as he held out his hand for her, placing the beer bottle on a nearby table. He'd watched her glance slide that way and figured what the hell. Truth was he could actually dance. It wasn't anything amazing, but he could manage. The slow dances were the easy ones in his mind. Plus he got to be close to her. "And my abilities would do just fine. I have been known to convert a lesbian, or two."

Josh smirked. "I don't like to brag... well, actually I do. I have fuckloads of talent and I've been forced to piss it away on shit gigs with shit bands. I needed a change, and I thought I may as well change the entire scenery while I'm at it. Hence the great journey to your fair land. I'm already feeling at home, plus the girls are much prettier."

"Convert, huh? Well, I'll save you the trouble. I'm very straight, just sorely lacking a social life to speak of." Emma took his hand, sliding her glass on the table beside his bottle and letting him lead her out onto thedancefloor. "Of course, I wouldn't be opposed to making out with a girl if the right guy was involved with us."

She put her hands on his waist when they reached the dancefloor and laughed. "Our fair land is pretty nice. I'm new to Princeton, but I love it so far. I don't really have a comment on the girls, but I know all the guys seem to be gay, taken or misanthropes, which really aren't my style. I think you'll like it here, especially if you have some of your posse on hand. The guys there are real sweet."

"I can help you there, love. Having a social life is my speciality. I could've been one of those lifestyle coaches, or whatever. Made sure all those corporate types knew how to let loose the right way. Just likeRJ will when he's older. Because, yes, we probably are already corrupting him. Don't forget he's also his mother's son, so he's not going to get so bad as his father."

He smiled at her as he rest his hands on her waist in turn, and started to move slowly to the music. "Ah, I guess I might fall into category three, but don't let that deter you. I've already had the talk about fish dinners and flowers. Also, I do shower. And I own stock. I can't remember what in, but I do own some. Us deviants aren't all bad. So where were you fromoriginally?"

Emma just smirked. "You have a distaste for the human race, do you? See, I got the opposite sense. I think you quite like life and people, you just operate on a different orbit to most. Not that there is anything wrong with that. The way I hear it, our Luke over there was much like you in the past and now look at him. Scared?" she teased. "I was born and bred in Boston. My Mom is a professor at Harvard. Then when I graduated, I came to New York for a job and that's where I was until only a few weeks ago when I moved to Princeton to find Evie."

"I do like life and people, but I'm not... I'm not this," Josh said as he jerked his head towards the two recently wedded couples. "Tara wants to convert me, so I've been trying to avoid her like the plague. I get that dating might be cool, and nice... Just not with the girls from back home. Not the fans at the gigs. You know? I don't know, maybe you don't. I know I probably sound like a tosser, but I'm just trying to be honest. Luke's just lucky. He found a girl that still lets him be him. Same withYodalan." His eyes fixed with hers and he smirked. "You should show me your New York."

Emma tilted his head. "That's sad. She seems like a really sweet girl. But also kind of mischievous. Do you think maybe she's just trying to wind you up?" she laughed. She gave him a small nudge. "You need to keep an open mind. Not all girls are the same. You don't know what's waiting around the corner. My New York is a real dirty place, Josh. Not for the fainthearted."

"She is... most of the time. Other times I think she's genuinely serious. Other times I just know she's got that married person compulsion to see the rest of the world paired up and happy." His blue eyes looked over her face, and he chuckled. "I'll tell you a secret. If there was really a chick that had me thinking about her every night and day, and just needing to be around her; then I'd be very open-minded. I know not all girls are the same, but I can't even think of the last time a girl gave me cravings. Until now. I don't really slow dance with every girl, you know. I'm hardly fainthearted. My Edinburgh wouldn't be the for the fainthearted either, Emma."

"And there, you hardly know me. Maybe Mrs Scot has a point, hm?" Emma suggested pointedly. Actually, he wasn't too bad a dancer. She couldn't remember the last time she had slow danced with a guy. Her love life was woefully lacking in any fine moments. "I'm a paramedic, just like Andrew is. That's about the extent of my New York. Blood shed, vomit and lots of racing around in rush hour."

"Again, really not that different to my Edinburgh," Josh joked as he laughed. "And if you mention to Tara that she has a point, I'll never hear the end of it. 'Course if you do plan on telling her, I could always kiss you to keep you quiet."

Emma shook her head in amusement. "I don't know her very well. Tonight is the first night we met, but I can't see the evil chick you're making her out to be, so I'm curious as to whether she really is or you're just actually scared you might find someone like she suggests you will. There's talking about it and there is actually pulling it off. I doubt any of the couples here in this room will say it's an easy thing, even if they got their One already." She glanced down at his lips. "Are you trying to get into my pants, King?"

Josh leaned in close and tightened his hands on her hips. "Yeah, I am. Lucky for me you're not actually wearing pants. Formal does have some benefits."

"And what if I'm not into one night stands?" Emma challenged, holding his gaze.

Josh arched an eyebrow. "Then I guess I'll have to keep an open mind where you're concerned."

"Well, if you have a stroke keeping that mind open in the process, I know a very good paramedic," Emma said cheekily, her eyes shining in a way that indicated she was certainly not going to be like the girls he was used to.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 3,035

Oi, I need a life

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 12:33:16 GMT

You Are a White Flower

A white flower tends to represent purity, simple beauty, and modesty.

At times, you are dignified like a magnolia.

And at other times, you represent great ecstasy, like a white orchid.

And more than you wish, you're a little boastful, like a white hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

That's flattering :|

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 10:46:21 GMT

Your Fireworks Say You're Introverted

You are a rather reserved person in day to day life.

However, you do have a few topics that truly excite you.

When you become impassioned, it's a surprise to everyone around you.

But if they blink, they'll miss it, because you get back to being calm very quickly.

The Fireworks Test

Yeah, that makes me sound appealling

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:21:24 GMT

Emma. Stronger than Pain.

That pretty much sums you up!

The Slogan Generator

muse_shuffle | April Disc Two

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 12:30:19 GMT

18. If you wrote me off I'd understand it
Because I've been on some other planet
So come pick me up...
I've landed
[‘Landed’ – Ben Folds]

Co-written with imnodoctor | Follows THIS

Evie was still reeling from the news of Robert Chase having cancer. She stood at the nurse's station in Oncology just staring into nothing. Even while she'd been talking to him, she hadn't genuinely thought that he'd have it. Okay, yes, there was a family history, and yes, there'd been a lump. But this was Dr Chase... he was invincible, even in a coma. Evie was trying to come to terms with the fact that she would be seeing a lot more of him on this floor, and it left her heart feeling heavy. She could only imagine how his wife would be feeling. She wanted desperately to pick up the phone and tell Riley, but it wasn't her news to tell. Maybe she'd just call him up and tell him she loved him instead.

He might have had HIV, but with the right medication he would live for a long time yet. As pessimistic as it was, the moment cancer decided to get you--that was it. You were dead. Chase might pull through this, and he might not. There were too many variables. She cleared her throat as she started to drag herself back to the present, and tried to think of what she had to do next. It wasn't going to help if she just stood around staring into space for the rest of her shift.

Emma was obviously still in her paramedic uniform as she made her way nervously up to the Oncology ward of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. She worried her lip with her thumb and forefinger as she rode the elevator up and when she stepped out into the corridor, she spotted the large Oncology sign above some double doors in the distance. Her shift had ended, but rather than going home from the station, she had gotten in her car and driven straight back to the hospital. She couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to at least try her luck here. She walked slowly into the ward, looking around hesitantly. It didn't take long to find the nurses' station and she approached with a small clear of her throat. "Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me?" she requested quietly.

"I can try," Evie replied as she turned at the voice, and tried to put on a polite smile. It didn't really reach her eyes though. "Long way from the ER, aren't you?"

Emma was taken aback at the abrupt comment but she didn't outwardly react to it. She bit back a retort about being too stupid to read signs because she wasn't a real doctor, as tempting as it was. All she damn well asked for was some help. "I'm looking for someone called Evie Miller," she began. "I was directed to this ward."

Evie held up a hand in apology, having realised how she must have sounded. "I'm sorry, it's been a long day." Then she blinked, and couldn't stop the colour draining from her face. "I'm Evie Miller. Is everything okay? Is Riley okay? He's not--nothing's happened, has it?"

Emma was unable to stop herself just staring at the woman. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out. God knows how she was coming across. It only just occurred to her that 'Riley Browne' in the ER was linked to Evie. It hadn't really dawned on her at the time because she was reeling just hearing the name. But of course, it made sense. He had mentioned her name and her location, so of course he was linked to her. It was too much to try and process what the link was, though. "I-I, um..." she stammered and then shook her head a little, stealing back her composure. "Yeah, I... I mean, I don't know Riley. That's not why I'm here. Is your full name Evelyn? Evelyn Miller?"

Some colour started to return to Evie's cheeks and she gave a slow nod, staring back at the brunette. Now she was just even more confused. What would a paramedic want with her if it wasn't because someone was in trouble? "Yes, but no one's called me that since birth. And Mrs Henderson, but the woman was a bitch. Made fifth grade hell. I'm sorry, I'm still not sure what it is that I can help you with."

Emma put her hand up to her mouth. Over a year searching... no way. It couldn't be here. "I'm sorry, but is your father Keith Miller, a psych professor in New York?" she asked, her voice a little hoarse and her heart was thumping in her chest. Her eyes were wide as she watched Evie in awe. She was gorgeous.

She could feel an eyebrow creeping up as she looked at the paramedic questioningly. Evie felt at such a disadvantage given she seemed to know everything about Evie and Evie knew nothing about her. She still wasn't answering her question. "Yes." Please don't let this be some new conquest that wanted revenge. "Father might be a bit of a loose term given his penchant for choosing only to act as one when he feels like it."

"Or not at all," Emma mumbled as a frown furrowed her brow. She rubbed the back of her neck, giving just about anything for a massage to relieve the tension there. "I... I really need to talk to you," she finally said, looking helplessly at Evie.

"Shit, has he got you pregnant?" Evie had no idea why her mind went there, but it did. She also had no idea how she was supposed to fix her father's mess. Evie glanced at her watch and sighed. "Well, I'm pretty much due for a break. Do you want to grab some coffee?"

Emma nodded. "I think that's a good idea," she agreed, unable to really take her eyes off Evie. But dragged them away. She didn't want her to think she was a total freak. A small shiver ran up her spine at the whole pregnant question. It was wrong for so many reasons, but of course, Evie had no clue of anything and Emma was suddenly terrified she might not want anything to do with her. So many months of anticipation could be zapped in two small words of 'Get fucked'.

Evie guided the brunette back towards the elevators and pushed the button to go down. She had no idea what kind of small talk was appropriate right now, so an awkward silence descended over them. She pulled her ponytail out, and tried to redo it as the elevator doors opened, getting the tie back in place in time to hit the button for the ground floor. "Can I at least get your name?" she finally asked as they started to move downwards. "That way I won't get the urge just to say 'hey you' all the time."

"Emma," she replied, watching the numbers light up as they descended. "Emma Hamilton." She dropped her eyes to glance at Evie again momentarily. "You're a nurse." Stupid, probably. It sounded stupid when it came out of her mouth, but she was astounded. Emma had a Nursing degree too. They were both technically nurses and that was just... well, Emma felt like her head was about to explode.

"In Oncology, yes," Evie said, trying to be friendly. It was a bit stupid, but for whatever reason, Emma was nervous and seemed like she was about to fall over from shock at any second. Evie had never met anyone that had had that reaction to her. Just made her more curious about why Emma was trying to find her. "It's all I've ever wanted to do." The doors dinged open finally and Evie got off to lead the woman out into the fresh air where she knew there'd be a coffee cart. The weather wasn't too bad considering, and Evie needed to know the sky and grass still existed outside of the hospital walls. Sometimes it was easy to forget about nature.

Emma just followed quietly at first. How was she supposed to know what to do in this situation? "My Mom's a lawyer. Well, she's a Professor of Law now, at Harvard. I never wanted to do that. I don't know why." Oh hell, the stupid was spawning. If she kept talking, she was going to start speaking Pig Latin or something. Why would Evie give a shit about her mother? Or her? She didn't know who the fuck she was! She scratched at her arm as they neared the coffee cart. At least that would give her something to do with her hands. She took her wallet from her bag. "Please, let me get this. It's the least I can do after I interrupted your shift."

"Actually, you had good timing. I think I needed an interruption." However bizarre. Evie didn't argue about the coffee, realising a little too late that her money was back up in her locker. "I think my Dad being a psych professor is precisely why I've avoided the field. After my Mom got diagnosed with cancer, being a nurse is all I ever thought about. Doctors kind of wind up doing all the curing, but someone's got to care about the patients."

Emma blinked. "Your Mom has cancer?" she asked and distractedly handed over a fifty dollar note to the barista. No, things like that weren't supposed to come to light. It had all been happy and bouncy in Emma's head. There was no blights. Nothing like cancer.

"Had," Evie corrected with a sad expression. "She died when I was younger. It's been me and Dad for a long time, but it's been me on my own for what feels like longer." She shrugged her shoulders and pushed her bangs out of her eyes. "It doesn't matter, it's just history. Hopefully it'll be me and Riley for a lot longer."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't meant to drag that up for you..." Emma accepted her change, shoving it hastily into her wallet, which disappeared back into her bag. She handed Evie her coffee and picked up her own, cupping her hands around it. "I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose my Mom. It's just me and her. Always has been... Riley is... I think I might have seen him in the ER this shift. Tall doctor, glasses, curly hair?"

Evie accepted the coffee with a nod and cleared her throat as she started to laugh softly. "Stop apologising. It's not your fault, and you haven't dragged anything up. Mom's never far from my thoughts, I've just learned to live with the fact she's not here anymore. You probably know how it feels anyway, since it's just you and your mother." Evie's smile increased as her blue eyes lit up. "That would be him. Sexy as all fuck as far as I'm concerned. He's my fiancé."

Emma had mind to blush just slightly. She had been blatantly perving on her sister's fiancé! But more to the point, her sister could bag gorgeous hotties like that and Emma's love life was with a tub of B&Js and a romantic comedy DVD. It was kind of depressing. "I have to admit I accidentally overheard him talking to another doctor. Something about not being there for months or something. Not that it's any of my business. Today was my first day on the job in Princeton. I... I transferred here from New York."

"Yeah, I come from Manhattan originally, so I know what it's like. Princeton's great once you get settled and find friends. Makes it easy having my best friend here. So you overheard him and... you knew where to find me? That's the 'direction' you got?" Evie frowned as she took off the lid of her coffee and blew over it. "Riley suffered a needlestick injury at the hands of an ER patient. He's been working in ICU for a while." She wasn't about to tell some stranger about his HIV. Emma would probably here about the needlestick regardless since PPTH loved to talk.

"My god," Emma said with a frown as she slipped into the seat at the picnic bench. "Every health professional's worst nightmare. That would explain why his friend asked him if it was too soon. I didn't mean to eavesdrop. It was just kind of an accident. I... yeah, he mentioned your name. That's how I knew." She played nervously with the edge of the cup lid. "I grew up n Boston, but moved to New York for my job. See, I came looking for you because I have a connection to your father."

"I promise I won't ask if you're pregnant this time," Evie said with a slight smile. She sat down near Emma and looked at the other woman. "Yeah, it's not been too great for Riley, but he's stronger than he realises and he has plenty of friends to look after him. He's lucky he's got a good support network."

Emma nodded. "I only saw him for two minutes, at the most, but he seemed like a nice guy. Kind of the shy sort." She scrunched her nose up a little. "It would be an immaculate conception. My sex life is non-existent and has been for months. I used to commiserate with my boss slash closest friend but he went and found himself a little hottie, who he is now living with on the Upper East Side." She paused and let out a small sigh. "I have to tell you something and I really don't know how you're going to take it."

Evie's eyebrows shot up. "Well, I can't exactly tell you how I'm going to take it until you tell me what it is."

Emma's shoulders slumped a little. "Your father slept with my mother," she revealed quietly.

"Okay..." Evie kept watching her. "My father's been sleeping with a lot of women lately. It's no big secret, but I'm sorry if he hurt your mother."

Emma shook her head and tucked some stray dark hair behind her ear. It was so different to Evie's, but looking closely at the other woman now, she realised they had the same eyes. "No, not recently. Nearly twenty five years ago," she said, watching Evie closely. "Keith Miller is my father."

Evie felt like she'd suddenly been shoved under water. There was a rushing in her ears that had nothing to do with a breeze. She struggled to find anything to say, let alone breathe. "What?" she suddenly blurted, and only managed not to drop her coffee by taking it in both hands. "I--what?"

Emma fumbled in her bag and pulled out a crumpled and creased photocopy of her birth certificate. She had been carrying it around ever since she started looking for her sister and it seemed surreal that she was about to actually produce it now. She unfolded it and tried to hastily smooth out the creases and pushed it across the table to Evie. "He came to Harvard for a conference and my Mom was just an Assistant Professor there then. They had a one night stand and then she found out she was pregnant. He didn't... well, he didn't want to know about it because he was married so he just paid Mom off and that was the end of it. She never saw him again. But it's true. I-I didn't know about you until recently. Just over a year ago. That's when I started looking for you..."

Evie set her coffee down with shaky hands, and tried to send out a telepathic call to Riley to come find her and catch her in case she fell over. She knew she didn't really have telepathic powers, but it was worth a try. If there was ever a time she needed him... Her fingers touched the end of the birth certificate, and her stomach dropped like she'd just been in a lift that went down too fast. "You're my... I have a sister?" Her face twisted as she tried to work out if she was going to cry, or scream. "My Dad is your Dad? He... fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit."

"Yeah, I... I'm sorry. I know this has to be hard for you..." Now that she was faced with it, Emma realised just how this could all be going wrong. No matter how many times she envisaged this meeting, it wasn't working out like any of them. She was now left feeling like she did something wrong. Maybe she should've just left well enough alone. She didn't have a Riley to send telepathic messages to. She was alone in a strange town with an apartment full of boxes. She was sure she had never felt this isolated in her life. She hugged her hands around her arms and bit down on her lip.

"I have a sister," Evie repeated as she felt her bottom lip tremble. Oh god, she was going to cry. Truth was it actually took a lot for Evie to cry. Since her Mom died, she'd become hardened to a lot of things, and didn't think anything could ever hurt as much as that. Almost losing Riley after those twenty days had come close, and now this... How could her Dad have not said anything? "No, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine what it must have taken for you to find me. I just--you caught me off guard. I wasn't exactly ever expecting a sister to rock up out of the blue. My fucking father... And he thinks he understands the human condition."

Emma tentatively reached out and rested her hand on Evie's arm. It felt strange, but she kept it there. "I-I like to think he was just trying to do the right thing by you and your Mom. Of course, I never knew you existed. Not back then. Mom did. At least, she knew your Mom was pregnant, after the fact. She was hurt. When he walked away she didn't have the energy to try and fight it. She just decided to raise me on her own and my grandparents helped. I mean, I guess there isn't much of an age gap between me and I know this must suck for you. I just... I just had to meet you."

Evie braced her elbow against the table so she could rest her forehead in her hand as she cried. She couldn't even think of anything to say. Emma's hand did feel strange over hers, but Evie flipped her hand over and took Emma's in hers. This was her sister. All these years she had a sister, and had just been oblivious to her existence. She thought of Riley and Tab, and wondered if there would have ever been a change for her and Emma to be that close. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed and eventually she sniffed loudly and lifted her head up as she wiped her eyes. "I can't... I mean, these past few years I've gotten used to him being a ladies man, but I didn't even consider he'd been like that before. He was perfect with Mom, and he'd loved her so much. I don't really... I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say."

Emma shook her head and gripped Evie's hand. "It's okay," she said quietly, some tears slipping down her cheeks too. "I don't really know what to say either. I imagined this epic movie-esque meeting where we would throw our arms around each other and live happily ever after, but it was deluded, I know. We're strangers. We just have the same blood. I just want you to know I'm not pressuring you into anything. This is... it's huge and if you want nothing to do with me, I'll understand. I can't imagine this is how you expected your day to pan out and to hear that your father had a secret like this... but I... I'm glad you haven't told me to fuck off, because believe me, I imagined that scenario too."

Evie managed to smile. "Hard to tell you to fuck off when you had that whole crazy mystique thing going on. Besides, I'm not my father. I'm confused, and angry, and shocked, but I'm not him. I won't tell you to fuck off straight away. Sorry I couldn't do the whole movie-esque thing. I just need some time." Evie wiped at her eyes again, and looked at Emma. "Fuck. A sister. You got a number? Maybe after I pick myself up off the floor I can give you a call?"

"911?" Emma joked weakly and then waved her hand. She started looking around in her bag for a piece of paper and a pen. "I know, lame joke. I'm sorry. I'm nervous. It did look like I interrupted a bad day for you, maybe. I apologise for that again. But when I heard your fiancé say your name in the ER, I just couldn't let it go. Actually, he kind of looked like he was having a bit of a bad day too. You two should get a bottle of wine and a takeout tonight. Put your feet up." She was rambling now but she came up trumps with a pen and paper, scrawling her number and her address down.

"Someone we know got diagnosed with cancer. I guess I was in shock, only not like right now." Evie laughed softly at the lame joke and shrugged. "It's okay, I can understand the nerves. I'm glad you took the chance, even if it doesn't really seem like it." Evie took the bit of paper and slid the birth certificate back to Emma. "I don't know why he would be having a bad day other than if ER's been hard on him. I'll definitely consider the wine and takeout. Thanks, Emma."

"That was maybe the wrong wording. He just looked stressed. If it's his first day back, it's probably straining." Emma shoved the pen back into her back and picked up her untouched coffee to stand up. "I should probably let you get back to work. I'm sorry again I had to show up when things are so hard for you. I think your fiancé thinks I'm a weird fuck, too. He caught me listening but I was really just stunned he said your name. Not that he knows who I am, but if there are mentions of a crazy, nosey paramedic bitch, that's me."

She hesitated for a moment and then stopped to give Evie a brief one-armed hug. "Thank you for at least hearing me out."

Evie patted Emma's back awkwardly as she smiled. "Anytime. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm running off, but I have to get back to work. It was... it was interesting to meet you, Emma Hamilton."

Emma smiled and let her hand linger on Evie's shoulder momentarily. Their gaze met and Emma decided they really did have the same eyes. It was enough proof for her. "If you need anything, anytime, call me," she said and then started to walk away, waving a little before turning to head back to her car. Her stomach was doing somersaults, but for the first time in ages, things felt like they were going right for her.

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe

Word Count | 3,887

muses_w_remotes | 12.16. Can't Hardly Wait quote

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:35:05 GMT

12.16. “Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.”
| Can’t Hardly Wait

[Follows THIS]

Emma could not believe how hectic her first shift in Princeton was. For some reason, she had convinced herself that Princeton would be some quiet peaceful little town with very little need for paramedic call-outs, but that was only because she was sure it couldn’t be any worse than her team in New York. She couldn’t have been more wrong if she tried. Her new colleagues were great; very friendly and personable. She knew straight away that she was going to fit in just fine. But the shift had been non-stop with a good portion of the call-outs going to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

But the latest call-out had been for nothing more than a broken arm from a local middle school. It was standard practice for schools to call an ambulance where children were injured like that. Emma welcomed the lull. The shift was nearly over and her feet were killing her. At least this kid hadn’t spent the whole trip upchucking green vomit all over the place after ingesting Play-Doh at the day care centre like her first Princeton job. Emma rode in the back with the middle school kid and chatted with him about his favourite cartoons and best teachers to distract him from the pain of his broken arm, but really, the kid didn’t seem too bothered and thought it was ‘way cool’ that he got to ride in the back of an ambulance.

She was now standing at the ER reception station succinctly filling out the ambulance report while her partner readied the ambulance to return to station. She tucked her hair behind her ear, one ear on the radio attached to her belt at all times in case they got called out again for something in their vicinity. It was a nice hospital and she knew over time that she would probably get to know a lot of the ER staff here. It was inevitable when you were a paramedic.

Even just now, a couple of doctors came over to the desk, laughing at something shared between them. Emma glanced up reflexively, discovering they were both really cute. Wow. If there were assets in Princeton like these two hotties, her move wouldn’t seem so stressful after all. “Yeah here, in Oncology,” the taller of the two said with a smirk and shook his head as he reached for his next patient file. He caught Emma watching him and smiled at her. Oh, he was adorable. She had a thing for guys in glasses, and that smile…

“Here in Oncology?” doctor two piped up. “You mean Evie Miller?” He slapped his mate in the arm. “I didn’t know that!” he cried.

Wait, what? Emma blinked. Did he just say Miller? Did he just say Evie? The taller doctor nodded with what Emma could only describe as a shy smile. “Now you do. End of April.” He reached over and picked up a pen from the cup beside the phone.

Doctor two shook his head, laughing. “See? This is what happens when you piss off to another department for months on end. I miss out on all the Riley Browne gossip.” He filched the other guy’s pen and started to use it himself.

“Yeah, well…” was all ‘Riley Browne’ replied with at first and calmly took the pen back. “I’m probably not even back here permanently, so you’ll have to get your gossip from somewhere else.”

Emma was listening to every word, probably staring at them both rudely. Her mind was reeling. Surely not? Surely it wouldn’t be this easy? It had to just be a coincidence. Miller was a damn common name in the United States. Evie could be short for anything, or that could just be a straight name. But wait, wait! He said Oncology! No… no… she couldn’t be a patient… could she? Emma swallowed, trying to focus back on her notes, but she found herself straining to keep eavesdropping on the conversation.

“Too soon?” Doctor two continued, watching ‘Riley Browne’ intently.

‘Riley Browne’ glanced around with a clear of his throat, spotting Emma listening to them. Emma immediately flushed in embarrassment at being caught and averted her eyes back to her page, trying to look deeply involved in it. “Who knows,” was ‘Riley Browne’s’ dismissive and non-committal answer, followed by, “I’m taking Bay Four. You can have Mrs Martin with her haemorrhoids in six,” he said and walked away before his workmate could protest.

There was a throbbing in Emma’s ears. She had no idea what to really make of any of that, or if any of it was even relevant to her. But it was too much of a coincidence to ignore. ‘Here, in Oncology’ would be her next stop. She fumbled with her pen, trying to get her concentration back as she furtively looked over her shoulder to watch Dr Browne disappear down the ER corridor. Now if only she didn’t suddenly feel like she wanted to throw up from sheer nerves. If this was it, she had been waiting for it for what felt like an eternity.

Dr Riley Browne [pullmysteth] used with permission. Evie Miller [imnodoctor] referenced with permission.

Word Count | 848

musebyquotes | 1.17. Bill Keane quote

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:25:29 GMT

1.17. "A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away."
- Bill Keane, Family Circus'

Co-written with paramedically

When Andrew answered the door and found his soon to be ex-workmate standing there, he grinned. “Hey,” he greeted her, keeping the door propped open with his shoulder as he manoeuvred himself in his crutches. “So, you’re really going through with it, huh?” He asked and nodded inside for her to come in. He was only just getting the hang of the crutches all over again. It wasn’t the first time he had been on them, after all.

Emma caught the weight of the door by putting her hand on it. She waved him inside so she could close the door over behind him and smiled at the attractive and modern interior of the apartment. She whistled in appreciation. “I’m impressed, Andy. I still can’t believe you’ve moved to the Upper East Side, not to mention getting all domestic with a gorgeous gal. You make me wonder what the hell I’m doing wrong.” She followed slowly behind him, ready to catch him if he toppled off the crutches. “Yes, I’m still going through with it. I know it’s pretty outrageous, but it just feels right. I’ve got to at least try to find her.”

Andrew nodded in understanding and eased himself into the closest armchair in the living room. “Sure, absolutely. I think you’re doing the right thing, hon. I really do. We’re just going to miss you.” He waved his hand in the direction of the kitchen. “Feel free to help yourself to anything. I wish I didn’t have to be so rude but I’m not supposed to be up for too long and carrying drinks back with these bastards is just impossible.”

“I’m cool,” Emma assured him with a smile and sat on the sofa just over from him. “I came to visit you, not have you wait on me hand and foot. Even if said foot is incapacitated. How are you feeling? Last I saw you, you were laid up on an ER gurney barely conscious and making good use of a vomit bag. The bruises are just about cleared up but I bet that cut leaves a scar,” she predicted.

Andrew touched his forehead gently and nodded. “Yeah, no doubt,” he agreed wryly. “I hate it. Being off work, I’m as bored as hell. I can’t even babysit Jamie for Ali because it’s possible to do everything on crutches. She’s out to lunch with her friend right now. It’s me and the remote. Again. I’m out of action until the beginning of May.”

Emma shook her head, frowning. “Seriously, it scared the hell out of all of us. We know the job is dangerous. It was just a stark wake up call. Do you even remember any of it?” she asked.

“Very little. I do vaguely remember trying to tell the guy we were just there to help his girlfriend and vaguely remember being verbally abused like there was no tomorrow, but it’s just kind of like a slow-action replay with a glitch in the tape in my head. But with how hard I apparently smacked my head on that wall, I’m not surprised there’s a bit of event amnesia. The concussion lasted for damn days. I was so sick. I’m just pissed off it happened now more than anything. I hate being kept from work,” Andrew said, shaking his head in annoyance.

“I’d be ready to tear my hair out,” Emma agreed. “I would be making everyone’s lives around me a living hell. What about you? You creating havoc for your squeeze?”

Andrew shook his head with a laugh. “Well, I haven’t been well enough to piss her off too much. I kept thinking I was going to be a burden and more stress and worry for her when she’s already dealing with the baby and stuff. Ali’s got Post-Natal Depression, see. She’s been better recently with some medication to help, but I was so worried I would be a hassle to take care of after the injuries. But she’s been amazing. There’s no other way to say it. She’s perfect. I’m so fucking lucky.”

Emma grinned and nodded. “That you are, Aussie. But look at it this way. You’re also pretty damn sweet yourself and you don’t give yourself enough credit. Maybe she is just relieved you’re okay and she can help you like you’ve been helping her.”

“Maybe,” Andrew reluctantly agreed with a blush. “But still…”

“No ‘but stills’ about it,” Emma scolded lightly, smirking at him with a point of her finger. “This is the whole better and worse thing that people happily ensconced in relationships talk about. Enjoy it. Take the good with the bad because if it’s the real thing, it’ll all be worth it in the end.”

Andrew laughed and put a cushion on the coffee table so he rest his foot on it and elevate his broken leg. “You make me wonder why you’re still single, Hamilton,” he teased. “So, are you all packed? Ready for the big move? When’s your first shift?”

Emma nodded again. “The moving truck is on its way to Princeton as we speak. I’m driving there in a few hours. I just wanted to drop by to say goodbye to my favourite boss and thank you again for making the transfer happen. I can’t thank you enough for that. I mean, I’m scared and I’m nervous and all that, plus I won’t have anyone I know in Princeton, but I really hope this is my chance of finding my sister. If not, well, they tell me Princeton’s nice and I can always think about coming back if it doesn’t work out. My first shift is tomorrow, believe it or not. Nine am start. I was cutting it fine, but I only managed to find an apartment I liked there a week and half ago otherwise I was going to have to check into a hotel there. Thank god for small miracles.”

“My cousin lives in Princeton, you know. Well, technically he lives here in the City, but he’s gone to Princeton for a few months to open a second bar there. I’ll give you his name and number. If you feel isolated or want a friendly face to talk to, he’d be more than happy to help out. He’s a great guy. He’s getting married at the end of the month. I get the honour of being his Best Man, so I’ll be in your neighbourhood then. I’ll have to drop by and see your new place,” Andrew told her.

“Hell yes. You have to promise to come visit any time you’re over there,” Emma insisted and reached over to adjust the pillow under his foot so it was more comfortable for him. “Are you sure your cousin will want my strange butt harassing him when he’s busy with the whole bar thing? I can see you in a tux, by the way. I’m sure you scrub up mighty fine.”

Andrew scrunched his nose up. “I hate suits,” he snorted. “But still, I’d do anything for Luke and trust me, he’d do anything for anyone else. It’s just the sort of guy he is. He has a huge heart. You’ll love him.” He shook his head. “Wow, I can’t believe you’ve actually finished working with us. It seems surreal. I didn’t even get to make it to your leaving party because of this damn thing.” He pointed in annoyance at his leg.

“You can take me out for a drink next time you’re in Princeton,” Emma told him with a smile. “You were better to follow doctor’s orders and stay off it. If it doesn’t meld properly now, you could be up shit creek without a paddle later down the track. You need strong legs for the job. And yep, I’m definitely gone. It feels… weird. The team was like my family and I love New York. But who knows, I could be back.”

Andrew nodded, returning the smile. “And in the meantime, just don’t be a stranger, ET. I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Andy,” Emma told him and stood up to go give him a warm hug. “And if you decide to up and elope with your gorgeous sweetheart, I expect an invite to the wedding.”

Andrew just laughed, hugging her tightly back. “Deal,” he agreed.

Luke Jackson [notskywalker] and Ali Sullivan [agentsullivan] referenced with permission

Word Count | 1,385

MEME | May as well kick this thing off some way

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:22:29 GMT

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'7"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
Nope. Haven't ever smoked any drugs.

3. Do you own a gun?
No

4. Rehab?
Not today, thanks.

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
I've only done it one, and while I was nervous, it was also extremely eye opening and we broke up a week later

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I only eat them with cheese

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Banana smoothies

9. Do you do push-ups?
I have done, but they aren't part of my work out these days

10. Have you ever done ecstasy?
No

11. Are you a vegetarian?
No way. I love a good steak. Sorry, Andy.

12. Do you like painkillers?
I love Tylenol when I have a migraine

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Low-cut, tight sweaters. I say that as if my lovelife isn't in a woeful drought.

14. Do you own a knife?
Only ones I cook with.

15. Do you have A.D.D.?
No, but I sometimes might have OCD tendencies

16. Date Of Birth?
18th May 1984

17. Top 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
1. Got to visit Andy to thank him and say goodbye
2. Fuck, I hope Princeton has a good pizza joint
3. I wonder what she's doing right now

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
1. Tampons
2. Latest Razor issue
3. A pack of gum

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink:
Tea, coffee, smoothies, water, Manhattans (the cocktail)

21. Current hair?
A bit longer than shoulder length, straight, dark brown, bangs

22. Current worry?
Whether upping and moving to Princeton is going to be a success

23. Current hate?
Underwire bras when the underwire dislodges

24. Favorite place to be?
At a park with a good book

25. Least favorite place to be?
The subway

26. Where would you like to go?
Right now? Oh, how about Paris? Or Fiji? Maybe Australia? England? Damn, I need a holiday.

27. Do you own slippers?
Yes, I do. They're pink and they're fluffy and if you knock them, I'll knock you

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
I don't know. I've never been one to plan too far in advance.

29. Do you burn or tan?
I burn. I have pale skin that only tans with the aid of a bottle.

30. Last thing you ate?
A banana dipped in chocolate sauce. I so was not thinking about similarly shaped things dipped in chocolate, either.

31. Would you be a pirate?
Yeah! Why not? I could pull off the sword thing.

32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink?
Last night at my going away party.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Anything and I'm not very good, but I don't care.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a kid?
A stranger. Seriously. My Mom drilled the stranger danger rule into my head so hard I thought one was going to grab me from my bed at night.

35. What's in your pockets right now?
Nothing, I'm in my uniform. We shouldn't have things in our pockets. Everything we need is attached to us or to the ambulance.

36. Last thing that made you laugh?
A rude email forward about men from my Mom.

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
The Little Mermaid

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
Broken ankle when I was a teenager

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Right now, none. They're all packed up and on their way in a moving van to Princeton. But I own two.

41. Who is your best friend?
My Mom.

42. Who is your love?
I don't have one right now.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
If they do, I have no clue about it.

45. What is your favorite book?
Hollywood Wives by Jackie Collins

46. What is your favorite candy?
Hershey Kisses

47. What songs do want/ have played at your wedding?
This is wayyyyyyyyy premature considering I don't even have a boyfriend, but let's go with 'Beautiful Day' by U2.

48. What songs do you want played at your funeral?
Anything that isn't sad. How about 'Locomotion' by Kylie?

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Blissfully sleeping after a long and tiring shift

50. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings?
I have a tattoo of a red rose bud on my hip and it didn't hurt that much.